Fuck yeah, Nigel Thornberry!

(Source: brantlyh, via shades-ler)

HAHA, you’ve activated my trap card! Blue Eyes White Nigel Vortex!

— nigelThornberry [NT] began pestering setoKaiba [SK] at 09:17 —

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HHNNNGGG NRNRNGGGGG~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: What do you want, dweeb?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I’VE COME TO YOU WITH A MINOR REQUEST BOSS~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I NEED MOHHH FUNDING FROM KAIBACORP~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~FOH MY NAYCHA DOCUMENTRIES~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: You need funding? For some nature crack? Hahaha, nice one, bucko

SK: Why don’t you come back and talk to me like a real man

SK: Maybe then we can work out a sponsorship

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ARE YOU IMPLYING I SHOULD GET THE WHIP SIR AND BEAT MYSELF IN REPENTANCE FOR SUCH A FOOLISH REQUEST~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYEEHHEHEHHHHH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HNNNG NRNRNNGG~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: Perhaps you should

SK: It’d make for an interesting nature show

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~……..OH MY THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE HAS EVER INDULGED ME~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: Maybe then you won’t need my funding, dork

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYYEHHEHHH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WOULD YEEWWW LIKE TO DO IT SIR~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYESSS, NYESSS, I THINK THIS SHALL MAKE FOR A~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~POSITI— WHAT THE DEUCE~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WHAT IS THAT CREACHYA~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WOT A MAGNIFICENT BEAST NNNNG~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: What are you babbling about?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MARYANN ARE YOU ROLLING~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: Are you hallucinating?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MARYANN LOOK AT THIS GODLESS SON OF A CUNTBEAST~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ITS A ROIGHT DRAGUN~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: Yeah, you’re hallucinating

SK: Duel monsters aren’t real, idiot

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~LISTEN KOIBA~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MY LITTLE LUVVY DUVVY LUV A DUCK~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: What

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I AM KNACKERED TRYIN TA GET YYYEWWW IN THE SACK SIH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~THAT CHISELED ANIMU JAWLINE BECKONS TO ME~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: Are

SK: You hitting on me?

SK: Go back to the loony bin, you freak

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ONLY IF YOU GET OUT OF MY DREAMS~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYYEEHHHHEHEHEHH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SNARFEHEHEH~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: What the hell? You really need to be thrown in the nuthouse

SK: Get out of my office

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~BUT KOIBA WE’VE NOT YET CONSUMMATED~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HNNNGGNNNRG~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: Yeah, and guess what, bucko? I don’t want to

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~BUT MY LITTLE LOOV~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WE MUST~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: In fact, I’d be much happier if I’d never met you

SK: Don’t make me get the spray bottle or worse, my brother

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~OOOOH THE SPRAY BOTTLE NYEEEHEH SOUNDS SORDID~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ROIGHT THEN~*~*~*~*~*~*

SK: What is WRONG with you?

— setoKaiba [SK] ceased pestering nigelThornberry [NT] at 09:51 —

John yet again asserts that he is neither a homosexual nor a Nigelsexual.

— nigelThornberry [NT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 09:00 —

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WHY ‘ELLO THERE, POPPET!~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: hey!

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SMASHING!!! YOU’VE RESPONDED TO THE NIGEL THORNBERRY MATING CALL, NYYYEEHEHEHEH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~JUST JOSHING, JUST JOSHING!~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: wow uh, what?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I WAS WONDERING IF YOU MOIGHT ANSWEH A FEW QUESTIONS REGAAHHHDING YOUR FRIENDS OF A NEW SPECIES.~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~YEWWW SEE, I AM DOING A NAYCHA SHOW~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~AND MARYANN AND I WANT TO BE THE FIHST TO DOCUMENT THIS DELECTABLE LITTLE WRIGGLY SPECIES~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WHOSE ANI QUIVER WITH ANTICIP…..ATION~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: you mean the salamanders?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~EH WOT??~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NO YOU SILLY LITTLE LAD!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~THE DROLLS!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~OR TROLLS~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WOTEVER THEY MAY BE.~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~IT’S FOR NOIGEL THOHHHHNBERREHHS NAYCHA SHOW~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~THAT’S ME!~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: uhh why don’t you ask them for info?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~BECAUSE I WANT THE PERSPECTIVE OF A CHAP WHOSE GOTTEN PRIME INTERACTION WIV THEM!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~TELL ME, LAD, DOES THIS CONSTITUTE BESTIALITY OR ARE THEY HUMANLIKE ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED A SALIENT SPECIES?~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~DON’T BE MODEST~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: i think they’re human enough…

EB: even though they have grey skin and horns…

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~IN WHICH CASE DO YOU INTEND TO COMMIT TO THIS BUCKETRY NONSENSE THEYRE ALL IN A TITTER ABOUT? HNNNG NRRRG~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: okay this conversation is getting quite scary hehe.

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WELL I AM NOIGEL THOHHHHNBERREH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I TEND TO BE RATHA, SHALL WE SAY, INTIMIDATING??~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYEEEEHEHEHH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SNARF~*~*~*~*~*~*

EB: …

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NOT FEELING TOO GLIB?~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~THAT’S AW ROIGHT, LUVVY~*~*~*~*~*~*

— ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering nigelThornberry [NT] at 09:13 —

If only the peasantbloods had known Gamzee’s true weakness.

— nigelThornberry [NT] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] at 08:08 —

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~’ELLO THERE, POPPET! NYEHHHH~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: hey motherfucker.
TC: HOW CAN I MOTHERFUCKING HELP YOU?
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~YOU WISH TO HELP ME DOCUMENT THESE STRANGE NEW CREATURES?~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SMASHING!!!!!!!!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~’ELLO, MY NAME IS NOIGEL THOOOOHNBERREH~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~AND YOU AH?~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: not motherfucking really man.
TC: I’D RATHER KILL THE CREATURES.
TC: i’m motherfuckin Gamzee.
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ROIGHTO, LOVELY TO MEET YOU, LUV!~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: CAN I CULL SOMETHING NOW?
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MIGHT YOU DEIGN TO TELL ME WHY YOU ARE SO BLOODY RAMPALLIAN?~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: i’m a subjuggulator of the trolls.
TC: IT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING DUTY TO CULL THE WEAK.
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HOW ROIGHT INTERESTING!!!! MARYANN I HOPE YOU ARE CATCHING THIS.~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MIGHT I INQUIRE ABOUT THAT QUEER FACEPAINTERY YOU HAVE~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~IS THIS A COMMON THREAD IN TROLLKIND?~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I WOULD HAVE ASKED THE BLUE MAN BUT HE HURLED ME RUDELY INTO THE ATMOSPHERE, NYEHHEHHH~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: this is the paint of the subjuggulators. only those of indigo blood may wear it.
TC: AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PEASANTBLOOD THREW YOU INTO THE SKY?
TC: i’m motherfuckin impressed.
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYEESS, NYESSS, HE WAS PROFUSELY UNAMUSED BY MY ANTICS~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANTED TO PUT INTO YOUR MAGIC BOX BEFORE I CULL YOU?
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~INDEEDLY DOO!~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: then shoot motherfucker. i can’t hold off the juggulator for long.
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~EARLIER I WAS SOLICITED BY A RATHER ORNERY FELLOW~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WHO WAS INSTANTLY WHIPPED INTO A VERBAL FRENZY~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: WHAT MOTHERFUCKING COLOR DID HE TALK IN?
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~A ROIGHT GREY HUE MY LITTLE LUVVEY~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~BUT IT WAS PECULIAR~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HE SHYED AWAY AT THE SIGHT OF MARYANN TRIPPING AND SCRAPING HER IDIOT HEAD ON A BUCKET~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~DO YOU FEAR BUCKETS?~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: how disgusting is your species to keep buckets lying all over the place?
TC: WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE A DISGUSTING OBJECT SUCH AS THAT WHERE IT COULD BE SEEN?
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~OH MY MARYANN HE APPEARS HOSTILE~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~BACK TO THE COMVEE EVERYONE~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~GOOD LORD DARWIN WOULD YOU HUSTLE~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: cull.
TC: CULL.
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MOVE THAT FAT MONKEY ASS!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~DARWIN!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: honk
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NOOOOOOOOOO~*~*~*~*~*~*
TC: HONK!
— terminallyCapricious [TC]  catches up to Darwin —
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN NOW CHAP~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ELOIZA WE’LL BUY YOU A NYEWWWW MONKEY POPPET~*~*~*~*~*~*
— terminallyCapricious [TC]  charges at the comvee, his clubs dripping with red blood —
TC: honk
TC: HONK
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~GOOD LORD MARYANN MOVE YOUR BURGEONING TITS FROM MY DASHBOARD~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~JESUS NOW TAKES THE WHEEL, NYEEEEEEEEEHHHEHEH~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~DONNIE STALL HIM BY FLAPPING YOUR UNDERDEVELOPED MANLY BITS~*~*~*~*~*~*
— terminallyCapricious [TC]  roars and chases after the vehicle —
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~FLAP HARDER DONALD~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~FLAP HARDER~*~*~*~*~*~*
— terminallyCapricious [TC]  seems disgusted by the bucket Donnie is holding —
TC: MOTHERFUCKING DISGUSTING >:o(
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NYESSSS, THAT’S IT; WAGGLE WHAT YOUR MOMMA GAVE YOU DONSON~*~*~*~*~*~*
NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~DONNIE YOU FUCKING GENIUS~*~*~*~*~*~*
— terminallyCapricious [TC]  falls behind and screams vile language at the escaping vehicle —

— terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering nigelThornberry [NT] at 08:27 —

“And again go my shattered dreams.”

— nigelThornberry [NT] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 12:06 —

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ELLO, POPPET!~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: H3Y

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~YOU RESPONDED TO MY MATING CALL! SMASHING!!!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: WHO4 WH4T

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~TELL ME, IS THIS AN APPROPRIATE WAY TO GO ABOUT SOLICITING TROLLBEASTS? I AM DOCUMENTING FOR MOI NATCHYA SHOW.~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: NO 1TS NOT >:\

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WOULD YOU MIND DISCLOSING THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION, LUV?~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~CAMERA’S ROLLING!~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: UH

GC: YOUR3 W31RD

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I HAVE CHARACTER, POPPET!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NOW BE A GOOD LASS AND EXPLAIN TO ME YOUR CULTURE.~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: J3GUS F1N3

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~IF YOU WILL, LUV, TURN TOWARDS THE CAMERA AND SMILE~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~AND SAY~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HELLO I AM A MEMBER OF AN INFERIOR RACE~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: PFFT

GC: 1NF3R1OR?

GC: GR34T JOK3

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~COME NOW THE NETWORK WILL SIMPLY LOVE IT!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~I’LL GIVE YOU A TREAT!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WHO WANTS A LOLLY?~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~THIS CHEEKY LITTLE LASS, I BET~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: WH4T COLOR 1S 1T?

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~A LOVELY CHERRY LOLLY~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~FOR MY LITTLE LUV~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: HMMM

GC: 4S T3MPT1NG 4S TH4T 1S

GC: 1 WONT B3L1TTL3 MY K1ND >:]

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~OH COME NOW YOURE BEING ROIGHT BELLIGERENT~*~*~*~*~*~*

— nigelThornberry [NT] changed their mood to PRANKY  —

GC: 1TS WH4T US TROLLS DO

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~HOW FASCINATING.~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MARYANN, GET A CLOSEUP OF THIS SASSY LASS’ GLASSES.~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~OH, MY, NYAAAAAA, I MADE A RHYME~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: MY GL4SS3S 4R3 D3L1C1OUS OK

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO EXPLAIN THE PREVALENCE OF BLINDNESS IN YOUR SPECIES?~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~MY, HOW INFERIOR THESE DROLLS ARE~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: W3LL 1M TH3 ONLY ON3 1 KNOW WHOS BL1ND

GC: W41T

GC: SOLLUX 1S BL1ND NOW TOO

GC: 1 FORGOT

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SMASHING!!!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~TELL ME MORE.~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: 4LR1GHT

GC: MY LUSUS T4UGHT M3 TO SM3LL 4ND T4ST3 COLORS

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~FASCINATING! DID HE ALSO TEACH YOU TO LICK THINGS AIMLESSLY IN THE EROTIC FASHION OF A FETISH?~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: WH4T

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~KEEP ROLLING, MARYANN; THAT PERPLEXED GLAZE ROLLING OVER HER EYES COULD BE A DEFENSE MECHANISM!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~WATCH OUT, MARYANN~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: OH MY GOD YOUR3 R3T4RD3D

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~NOW, NOW, HEATHEN, THAT’S NO WAY TO REACT TO YOUR SUPERIOR, NYAAAA.~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SO CUTE WHEN THEY’RE WILY!~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~COME NOW, POPPET, ANSWER THE QUESTION!~*~*~*~*~*~*

GC: NO W4Y

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~SIGH~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~AND AGAIN GO MY SHATTERED DREAMS~*~*~*~*~*~*

NT: ~*~*~*~*~*~*~DARWIN TRANQUILIZE THIS ONE AND SELL HER TO THE CHOP SUEY FACTORY~*~*~*~*~*~*

— nigelThornberry [NT] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 12:43 —

orangealley asked: NEVER EVER STOP, EVER

~*~*~*~*~*~*~OF COURSE NOT, POPPET; MY REIGN OF NOSY AND BLITHELY IGNORANT TERROR WILL PROSPER UNTIL THE ENDS OF TIME. OR THE COMVEE RUNS OUT OF GAS, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. HAS ANONE SEEN ELOOOIIIIZA?~*~*~*~*~*